Friday, December 14, 2007

Okay People.....


Smokey the cat says here is the stupid story for the day. Actually he was probably saying "Put the damn camera away, stupid human!" But he can't type, so I am in control here.
Click here and be prepared to say WHY ?!

After reading the story, consider this:

Do you suppose that a bunch of scientists were sitting around the lab, bored with injecting furry creatures with enzymes that make legs grow out of their foreheads and said " HEY! I'm bored, wanna mess with that cage of mice over there? I have an hour before lunch and I haven't mutilated mother nature today...let's see if we can figure out a way to keep that government grant money rollin' in! Lab X just got a billion dollars to study the ancestral mating habits of the rare suburban housefly !" And the other scientists (having been bred with the same gene that makes lemming follow each other off cliffs) nod their heads in furious agreement. For those of you that don't know what this looks like, take a teenager to see the newest electronic device--you'll get the idea....

Maybe there will eventually be a lab that breeds the dumbass out of scientists....


DISCLAIMER, PLEASE READ AND AGREE BEFORE PROCEEDING : The opinions, theories, hypothesis contained hereafter are not the views of the general inhabitants of this house, just the rambling thoughts of a female with too much coffee and easy access to a WORLDWIDE communication device...the opinion and theories set forth are in no way meant to substitute for fact, honest truth, OR COMMON SENSE...

SOOOO--- if you breed mice that aren't afraid of cats, here are just two possible scenarios:


1: Suicidal mice that render themselves extinct and thereby reduce the number of small furry creatures scientist have at their disposal, thereby rendering scientists obsolete. Since mice will no longer be afraid of cats, we will have a whole generation of cats that are on mood inducing drugs because they feel they are no longer cat enough to induce fear in a little rodent, and then they have to go on long pilgrimages to search for their inner cat and their spiritual purpose....If they don't find that inner peace, there will be a string of cat rehab centers for cats that are self medicating on the cat nip (in human context, think late 1960's...) I know, technically that was two scenarios, it's not my day to stick to the rules.

2. Given that original intent of any experiment has a really strong potential to come back and bite us in the arse ( think Castro and Bin Laden for history buffs, bell bottoms and hip huggers for the rest of us..), please consider this scenario:

Bud the jacked up lab mouse, feeling 10 foot tall and bulletproof (usually witnessed in humans when mixing alcohol and testosterone) decides the cage is too small and he is getting out. So, out he goes, hey-what's there to fear out there? After a night of pillaging and harassing Tom the cat and all his friends at the animal shelter, Bud spies this ravishing female rat (Bud has a thing for well endowed larger women, none of that bony mouse tail for him...no siree...). The next morning Bud scoots out the door, unaware he is a Daddy. Yep, I know, rats and human males sometimes share disturbingly similar traits...I digress...This would be all great and fine except that half his offspring inherit his fearless gene and breed with wharf rats. Ever see a wharf rat? Ever see the rat in teenage mutant ninja turtles? You get the idea...In these wharf rats, this fearless gene mutates and produces Volkswagon sized rats that aren't afraid of people....

When I get held up at gunpoint by a cheese crazed wharf rat with no fear, I'm going to hunt down those scientists and kick their boneheaded arses..

And that's all I have to say about that! Now off for more coffee.....

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