This mornings post is just a short but funny blurb session. I wish I could take credit for these, but all the credit has to go to Barbara Lenz who puts out our church bulletins via email. These really made me giggle today and I hope they do the same for you!
*I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.
* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
* In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
* When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
*You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* A lot of money is tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
* Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Great coffee and giggles to you this morning!